Happy Father’s Day

Earning the title “Father” is a lifelong honor.

For me, the physical/biological part in getting there was relatively easy and a lot of fun. Especially all of the practice that went before it.

But all of the effort and work that ultimately went into actually being able to refer to myself as a “Father” was the hardest job I’ve ever had. And you retain the title to your last breath, and beyond.

You must always remember that a child doesn’t get to fill out any applications to select their parent. They are usually brought into the family by conscription, literally screaming upon entry. It is you that makes that decision to bring them into the family.

It looks easy enough. You start out innately knowing the basics. You need to feed, clothe, protect and educate the child you’ve sired. But then there’s the 24/7/365 availability that is required to meet their every need, physical, psychological and emotional. That’s very hard to maintain over a lifetime especially as your energy starts to wain as theirs waxes, short and long term.

I’ve come to believe that raising children is a lot like raising wild horses. You want them to test their limits as fast as they are able and yet keep them from accidently killing themselves or someone else in the process without breaking that wild horse spirit.

There’s also the part where you try to keep them from making the same stupid mistakes you made along the way. It’s like trying to hold back the waves at Jones beach. And in the end mistakes can be valuable lessons that make you a better person, human or otherwise.

And the hardest part is dealing with your own ego. (I have a big ego). Because as the kids grow, they challenge who you think you are at every opportunity. They see beyond your professional titles and achievements. And they spot your vulnerabilities and weaknesses a lot sooner than the average person. They have a behind the scenes view that you don’t usually share with the world. And they will use those weaknesses as pressure points along the way. It’s human nature. They will test all boundaries. Sometimes that leads to tears and confrontation. I’ve been nose to nose with spittle flying both ways with all of my children – including my daughter. The hard part for Fathers is to learn the lessons for both parent/child in those moments and because you are the parent, to either admit your mistakes and apologize, and/or to forgive and forget if by some miracle you really were blameless. I’ve never had that luxury of being blameless.

So let me take this opportunity to thank my kids for growing up and succeeding despite all of my screw ups in raising them. I am very proud to have kept that title to this day. They are raising their own children now, and I’m thrilled to be here to watch it. In fact, I’m doing my best to make their children as mischievous as I can so that there own jobs are a little harder, but so much more rewarding.

And congratulations to all of you other Fathers out there. And that includes the biological, the adoptive and the surrogates who step into a child’s life at those moments when they need that father figure and for whatever reason, there is no one else. Well done you all.

And for all of your Mothers who carry half the Father’s obligations throughout this journey and are kind enough to not let anyone else know it, including my own dear wife, Lisa, thank you for not blowing our cover.

So, I hope that my fine, five readers take a moment today to thank their Fathers (yes, there can be more than one) for their successes, forgive them for any failures and learn what they can from the experience to carry forward into the next generations.

And most of all, let us all make today a great one.