The Dude Abides. . . His Grans

Now when you first reach the exalted position of Grandparent, you have to make sure that your official moniker is not too generic. After all, imagine yourself out in public among thousands of other Grandparents and Grandchildren, let’s say at a public park, and you have to be able to respond to a summoning from a cacophony of other squeaky sounding voices. Granddad, Grandpa, Paw Paw, Pop-pop, Pops, Gramps, quickly becomes muted from overuse among the crowd. When my first Grand, Lucian (yes, he’s a character as well), came along,

I thought long and hard about what name I would be willing to respond to.

Now part of my selection process factored in my vanity – I know, hard to believe, but I have been known to be vane – and the idea of any title with the lead “grand” put me off. The common terms immediately establish you – to anyone within hearing range – as reaching your winter of discontent. One step closer to the nursing home or the charnel house. The other foot on a banana peel.

I also know that as we age, the first sign of hearing loss is our inability to hear high-pitched sounds.

So I thought carefully about what sound would force any potential grans to reach deep in the octave range when shouting it out, and immediately separate that call from the other higher pitched screams for attention. I also only considered something monosyllabic, so they can get it out quickly. Finally, I considered all of the first words babies say, because I wanted something that appears in their top ten of easy to form sounds that historically count as baby vocabulary.

Dad, Mom, Dog, Cat, No . . . .

And of course, I wanted a title that could be easily triggered on an onomatopoeic level, something suggested by my personality and essence. Something that would stand out among the other geriatrics.

It was while I was watching for the millionth time, the classic movie, The Big Lebowski, that the title came to me. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Big_Lebowski

“The Dude abides” captured it perfectly.

“‘The Dude abides‘ is an obscure reference to a passage from the Ecclesiastes scripture: “One generation goeth, and another generation cometh; but the earth abideth for ever.” As kingdoms rise and fall, the ground they’re built on is the only constant.” https://screenrant.com/the-big-lebowski-what-dude-abides-means/

So, given that I intend, like the earth, to continue indefinitely, I instructed all of my children, that I would only respond to their progeny as “The Dude” or just “Dude.”

It stuck.

Now, as with anything outside the norm, as repeatedly referenced and reflected in The Claire Saga, an unusual name falls into the category of items governed by the universal law – “be careful what you wish for.”

That all came home to roost when my Ozmandian grans celebrated Father’s Day with presents for The Dude, that were a combination of gifts, that when worn together would only hobble me:

I will most likely be buried in one of those pairs of comfy socks, and sooner, rather than later if I wear them with my other gift,

since even little children know it is literally impossible to wear socks with flip flops.

Now, the wrapping paper off the first of their gifts – the socks – reminded me that the two younger children – Stella and Savanna (yes from the books) – are more likely to spell my moniker phonetically.

But when Scarlett (also from the books) handed me her present, the wrapping paper put it all together – the sock/flip-flop combination was a well crafted plan for the grans to take over Casa Claire.

They have been recently and repeatedly stage whispering in my presence how much they love living here at Casa Claire.

So, this packaging was a combined Freudian slip and wishful thinking, meant to send an unmistakable message.

Et tu, Scarlett!

Well, given how often the original character “The Dude” found his own life in danger, it was bound to happen.

So, I will never wear my socks and flip-flops at the same time – definitely meant to cause me to trip – and I have taken to sleeping with one eye open.

Note how the tiny monsters wisely waited for me to complete The Claire Saga before making their move.

Know thy enemy.

But now Monday is upon us.

You fine, five readers have that final cuppa, hold your nose and leap into coldest and deepest part of the work pool, to shock your system and propel you forward through your tasks.

I will do the same but first, my kitty cuddles and rounds.

I better check for IEDs.

And no matter what else we get up to today, let us make it a great one.

I am the Walrus, Donny.

https://oldtimemusic.com/the-meaning-behind-the-song-i-am-the-walrus-by-the-beatles