The Bionic Woman

In the reboot of the Bionic Woman television series in 2007 the lead character – Jamie – gets two new bionic eyes.

https://www.televisionaryblog.com/2007/06/pilot-inspektor-nbcs-bionic-woman.html

This morning, my dear wife gets her left eye repaired to remove a cataract and implant an upgraded corrective lens that will provide her with 20/20 vision in that eye, it even corrects her astigmatism.

She had the right eye repaired with the same magic lens on December 12th, and the outcome has been miraculous.

Over the past two weeks Lisa has been able to read things without glasses (by covering her left eye) that she could never read for as long as I’ve known her.

Of course, whenever she does that magic trick, I am reminded of the bookie Gus Sands in The Natural:

So, I will be quite happy when she gets this second eye up to bionic speed, if only to avoid the one eye stare as she assesses how much money I have in my pockets.

The downside to Lisa’s upgraded peepers is that she can now see me on any end of the property. I have lost all ability to hide from her. In the past, if I saw her come out on the back deck and scan the property for me, all I had to do was stand still by Claire and she couldn’t make me out from Claire’s larger form. After a few moments she would give up and return inside.

Another interesting (a/k/a “slightly unnerving”) side effect of the first bionic lens is that it captures/reflects light like the tapetum lucidum in a cat’s eye. I first noticed it when she entered my office unexpectedly – still getting used to that magic trick now that she’s retired and around all the time – when I turned to see her standing in the office doorway and her right eye had this strange little adjustment as the light from the window caught in it. I thought I imagined it, but as she shifted on her feet it did it again. I now cannot help but notice it every time she looks at me.

I can hear that “ju-ju-ju-ju” sound as her new eye spots the tiny shards of hay that used to go unnoticed when I came in from the barn but now is immediately brought to my attention and must be removed before I can comfortably retire to my recliner.

The worst part is that once she has this second eye repaired she is bound to notice all of my physical imperfections and realize that I got the better part of the genetic deal when I married her so many years ago. Up until now, my silver tongue could easily convince her that the rest of the world was lying out of pure jealousy over the handsome stud she scored back in the late seventies. Oh well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. At least I have already incorporated her better gene pool into my McCaffrey blood line before she noticed. The Beast got his Beauty.

Modern technology can be a bitch.

Do you think it’s too late to have them put in rose colored lenses?

Well, I need to get moving, as we have a 7:45 am Tee Time at the surgeon’s office.

And I still need to get in my kitty cuddles and my rounds.

It’s hump day on a holiday shortened week, so it will not be much of a hill to get over, unless some emergency at work rears its ugly head. Fingers crossed.

Hopefully, you fine, five readers have nothing but family fun on the menu. I hope you are all more happily focused on putting the finishing touches on your end of the year festivities.

Feel the excitement. 2024 is sure to be magical for us all.

Lisa certainly will be looking at the world next year with a whole new perspective.

But before we get there, let us appreciate what’s left of 2023, make sure we pay attention to the moment we are in, and make today a great one.