The Wise Novelist

Technology Sucks

It seems that the more on-line shopping increases, the worse the customer service gets. I shop on Amazon and order things every single day. For years. Well, over the past few days I’ve been trying to place an order for X-Box cards for my 10 year old grandson’s birthday, and for some reason Amazon keeps fucking it up.

The normal process is for me to find something on line, put it in the cart. Pay for it using my debit card and Viola!

Well my wife decided to send my grandson X-Box gift cards for his on-line gaming for his 11th birthday. Simple enough, find the cards, find the amount you want, and the number of cards and click, right?

Of course not. I get email from Amazon telling me that the order has been cancelled because the card was declined. I call up the bank. They say they didn’t even get the charge, so its on Amazon’s end. So we try it again, this time using Lisa’s debit card. Again, same email from Amazon. Bank says bullshit.

It’s too late in the evening and I’m too tired to call Amazon. I wait until this morning and try it again on my card. Same bullshit email from Amazon. Same response from the bank. I try to place the order using another account debit card. Same bullshit email from Amazon. Call the second bank, they say they never got a charge.

So now I’m pissed. So I call Amazon and fail in three bullshit attempts to get past their AI to a live person.

Finally, on attempt #4, I get someone in India. He puts me on hold and it disconnects.

Now I’m fucking furious. So I get back on the phone, get past the cock sucking AI, and get a polite gentleman in the Philippines, Hahn, on the line. Give him my phone number and threaten all kinds of bad things if he disconnects me and does not call me back.

Well, after going through the long litany of how incompetent Amazon has been with Hahn, he goes on line and tells me that not only did one charge go through, but both charges went through. So, now I’m fucking nuts and demanding that they immediately refund the second charge because they – admittedly – fucked up.

Hahn very politely transfers me to Ragu, in India, who asks me for the same information and wastes my time and then transfers me to Horsak, maybe in South America, who then asks me the same information and wastes my time for a bit more, and transfers me to Marsha, back in the Philippines, who then repeats the bullshit and wastes my time a little more and transfers me to Anna, also in the Philippines. Anna then very officiously wastes my time a lot more and then tells me she cannot help me, but will expedite the issue to another office – who she cannot put me in touch with — but she has filed something with them. So I tell Anna I want HER to email me NOW and confirm everything that happened on this phone call and to confirm – what she told me on the phone – that I would get my refund within 24-48 hours. She swears she will do so. This is what she sends me:


I relayed your information to the team trained to handle this scenario.

You should hear back from them in the next 1-2 business days.
They are one of our account especialist in the back office team to help you get the refund for $****** under
Order ID: *****************.

Best regards,

Anna kicked the can up the road and got me off the phone. Fucking hour and a half wasted of my life.

You would think that a company like Amazon — with the technology to create AI that is boring as fuck but can talk like the kids you ran from in High School because they were also boring as fuck — could get their shit together.

If Amazon can give me – a nasty, tenacious, blood sucking New York Lawyer – the run around, I cannot imagine what they do to an old pensioner from Wisconsin.

This has to change. Seriously.

We need to bring back real people in customer service, in the country of origin (where the order is placed), who are accountable and will resolve your issues, not jerk you off and then kick your problem into someone else’s voicemail. Or worse, disconnect you.

AI should not be communicating with irate customers, it should be crunching numbers some where, or playing my music.

But to tell you the truth, at least AI fucks with you honestly. The humans I dealt with today – as nice as they tried to be – are completely full of shit.

There, spleen vented.

Thank God it’s Saturday, and only my chores were delayed by this bullshit.

But if that money isn’t back in my account in 2 days, stay tuned.

Until then, you all try to have a great day.

I’m going to shovel some honest shit.

6 Responses

  1. They were just hoping you would give up. Covid is over, people need to return to work in America. We have the same issues in the hospital. Everyone working from home and difficult to get any support.

  2. I hope you feel better after you penned your frustration. Totally agree with you ..the world has changed and not for the better….

  3. I have been through this with Amazon on more than one occasion. Not only do they put you through the frustration wringer, they are hard to understand…at least for me. I bet they get calls like yours and mine many times a day. They don’t make it easy. Go to the orders tab at the top of the page, find the orders you made that actually went through and cancel one.

  4. AMEN to bringing back real people WHO ALSO KNOW THEIR JOB! I’ve felt your pain before… No time to deal with the run around!

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