No Dry Cleaning

Back in the early nineties, I attended a weekend seminar on screenwriting with the brilliant Robert McKinnon in Manhattan. (I’m sure I went into more detail about that in one of earlier posts in my prior three years of blogging). He’s an enchanting lecturer. It really did change my life.

For purposes of today’s blog, the one take away from those wonderful hours in my late thirties when I almost made it as a screen writer, was that the real writer can make a weekend trip to the dry cleaners seem interesting to a reader.

Let’s see if that’s true.

Now I didn’t go to the dry cleaners yesterday. But I have a dirty dog (and friends) story.

I thought yesterday was going to be my lucky day. Found seventeen cents right outside my parking space at Wall Mart.

The weather was nice, and the moon was still bright over Casa Claire.

Indeed, it was a day full of promise, as I had Casa Claire to myself (at least as far as other living humans are concerned), Lisa did a per diem day shift at her old job.

So I stopped at WM on the way back from dropping Lisa at work – she could drive now that she has her bionic eyes but I figured why waste the gas on a separate trip to WM.

The old Tommy would not have stopped at WM but would have come straight home and made the most of his bachelor life. He would have sat on his ass (not Claire, the one he was born with) and binged watched foreign, sub-titled TV or read a book, until he (Blue) heard Lisa pull up the gravel driveway and then he would have made himself look very busy doing something really important when she walked in.

But I didn’t do that. I stopped at WM to pick up the ton of fruits and veggies that I would need to do a week’s prep for the magical creatures that make my life worth living and headed home to be industrious. Seventeen cents richer.

Now I really bring home a few hundred dollars of fruit each trip, (and I end up going back for more in a few days) because there is a lot of animals on my Good list. Creatures don’t have a Bad list.

There is of course Claire and Honey,

Who make my life so magical 24/7/365. And then there are the local horses whose daily morning engagements works better than therapy.

But getting ready for that that takes a few hours of prep each Saturday morning, which is fine. I find the repetitive motions of chopping and bagging equally therapeutic while my mind travels to any destination it desires. I’m surprised I have all my fingers.

I also gaze out the back doorway at some of the other creatures at Casa Claire, like the cheeky crow who will walk right up the Claire’s table and snatch some peanuts.

And the cute large well fed bunny who, along with a huge family of siblings and cousins, lives under my workshop out back.

And sometimes the cheeky crow and large bunny play tag.

Especially if the crow wants the bunny’s snacks.

And after a few hours I turn this before pile

into this (along with lots of apples and pears and celery)

But yesterday didn’t end with fruits and veggies.

If you noticed in the before carrots photo, the floor coming in off the back was filthy.

That is because the mules are always outside vigilantly guarding Casa Claire

and Blue

likes to spend a lot of time with Claire and Honey

outside walking through mud

And then Claire brings that mud on her hooves right to the doorway

and Blue tracks it into the house.

In no time at all, the basement is filthy.

Now if you go back up to the earlier floor photo you will see my muck boots (Wellies, right Petey?) so I may have a little to do with it. But my contribution is de minimis.

That is why a dirty floor doesn’t bother me. I am Pig Pen. Eternally happy in the muck.

But Lisa is not happy in the muck.

So I figured I better clean the basement before she got home.

And so I swept the floor from the indoor stairs going to the main floor to my office and everything in between.

Then I vacuumed it all over again, because Lisa has a white glove and she’s not afraid to use it.

And then I swift-jet the entire space so it was nice and shiny.

Of course I had to move a ton of furniture, and rugs, so I gobbled some Aleve.

Do you think Lisa noticed? Of course not.

Anyway, I actually ran out of time, and I had to pick Lisa up from work, so I didn’t get to wipe down the furniture.

Well, that will be what this morning brings, before I go out and do my outside chores (and bring dirt back in with me).

But the good news is, that my full dance card keeps me from being shanghaied into Lisa’s latest brainstorm – painting parts of the first floor – which I hate even more than cleaning.

So, while I didn’t get to tell you about my trip to the dry cleaners, I hope I amused you enough with a tale from a day in my otherwise boring life.

Because, my fine, five readers, that is why I blog every day. Just to force myself to write with hopes that it teaches me something about my self while hopefully making one of you smile.

But now I need to get a move on.

No rest for the wicked, not even on the Lord’s day.

One more price to pay for “the fall.”

However, I will first have my kitty cuddles and my rounds to ground me for the day ahead.

I assume, you fine, five readers will be watching the playoffs.

I hope my brother Eddie’s favorite Chiefs have a good day.

I hope Christian McCaffrey is healthy enough for his game against the Ravens.

But no matter what else we get up to, let us make today a great one.