I Hate Christmas Decorating

Snow was clearly blowing on The Three Witches, yesterday, which bode no good for this poor Druid.

You see, Lisa decided that we would again put up Christmas decorations.

With the younger family in Oz for the past two Winter holidays, I managed to talk Lisa into foregoing most of the decorating for two years running, especially the tree.

Now, I probably would not hate the idea or practice of Christmas decorating if it were just me doing it. I would toss everything together with the care of a temporary event, perfect getting in the way of good. I would be done in half an hour, tops.

But not Lisa. With everything except her choice of mates, she’s been a perfectionist. And she is slow and deliberate. I hate slow and deliberate.

And it is never praise for what I do do. It’s the white glove notification of what is off. Exasperating.

Indeed, when Lisa pointed out that the strings of Christmas tree lights were just not as full at the top of the tree, as along the bottom,

– I put it to you fine, five readers, there is absolutely nothing wrong with those light patterns –

I took the forced opening to avoid divorcing her on the spot and run out to get that final completely unnecessary 50 light string as my payback opportunity for an extended boondoggle.

I grabbed the chair and ottoman set that we were giving to Luke and moved it from the garage to the car, then went to Georgie and Luke’s

– which is closer to the Home Depot – and while there, since I had to go to HD, volunteered to spend some time replacing the dining room wall switch

with a high priced dimmer.

And of course, before I could get back to L&G’s to replace the dimmer, I stopped to chat with my dear friend Kyle Dooley –

yes the bartender from the Hell’s Kitchen chapter of Finding Jimmy Moran.

Kyle shared that he had just recovered from double cataract surgery and the first thing he did was to read Where The Ley Lines Meet. He said, and I quote, “It was like meeting back up with a bunch of old friends.”

Kyle then located the one string of 50 Christmas lights for me, and after selecting the posh touch screen dimmer, I was back off to L&G’s to spend a good hour replacing that switch. Two can play at slow and deliberate.

Well, when I finally arrived back as Casa Claire, Lisa was as frosty cold as The Three Witches and expressed her displeasure of the intentional delay in many ways I cannot repeat here. I used all of my legal training to defend myself, including pointing out that it was Lisa’s idea that I should replace the dimmer, mentioned on our trip back from Thanksgiving at L&Gs. She wasn’t having it.

However, after a negotiated detente, for the good of the Grans, we proceeded to complete the decorating, and Lisa’s eye definitely carried the day.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, Kyle gave me the wrong lights, so I had to run out to Ace Hardware in Berthoud to get the ones Lisa really wanted. But Kyle’s set was then hung from the railing on the deck above the couch a little later.

Now, this does not mean I do not hate Christmas decorating. I still do. In fact, I’m already despairing about the battle that will be waged in early 2025 on Little Christmas, when all of those balls and baubles will have to be taken down and wrapped back up, one by one, and then carried in heavy boxes back to their storage area. Stay tuned.

But, in the mean time, the Grans will have fun when they come over. And that is what Christmas is all about.

Now I hope you fine, five readers get to avoid such silliness.

But if you are like me, you are not alone. https://www.tiktok.com/@hannahandregal/video/7162913412245245226

But with that behind me, I can get back to fun things like shoveling mule muffins in the cold.

First, I’m going to head up and out and cuddle the kitties, and make my rounds. Lisa has to stop in at her old job and do some paperwork.

I also get a bonus of having my facial spa day with Anna the Barber while Lisa is at work. Absolute heaven.

Maybe there is a Santa Claus.

Well, no matter what else we all get up to, let us remember to make today a great one.