Heroes and Villains

We are all unique. All born with different gifts. But we all have something. A raison d’être.

The life we are each born into pushes us all out of the gate at such a break neck pace, that it doesn’t allow any of us much introspection in each moment as we race through it. Doesn’t allow time for you to fully appreciate your gifts. You are too busy being, doing, surviving, accomplishing. Hopefully, succeeding.

Chasing your destiny.

However, if you survive the rat race, and live long enough, you hopefully slow to a point that allows for some retrospection.

Some long term perspective.

And to be completely honest, it’s almost impossible to be truly honest at that task. Your memory softens the edges of your recollection. Rationalizes. Forgets. Shifts responsibility for outcomes, contribution towards successes and blame for failures. No one likes to look back and realize they were an asshole. But we all are, at some points in our lives, assholes.

We could all probably use a solid week (maybe more) contributing at a 12 step asshole recovery group.

“Hi, my name is Tom, and I’m an asshole.”

But it usually balances out.

For example.

I’ve spent most of an entire human lifetime trying to do what people expect of an individual in a civilized society.

I’ve become educated. Not the straight and narrow path that most people follow, but one that ultimately led me to complete a post-graduate level degree in a challenging profession.

I’ve done my best to fulfill the obligations of whatever role I’ve found myself in. Child, sibling, friend, lover, husband, father, etc. I’ve never been consistent or perfect at any of those roles, not anywhere close, indeed, there have been many times when I have just fucked up, and again, offer a blanket apology.

But I love my friends and my family, blood, adopted and fur with all my heart and soul. They mean everything to me.

I’ve contributed to my society. Volunteered when asked. Paid it forward when possible. Helped when needed. Stepped up for friends and family, and even the occasional stranger. And that part of living has truly been a blessing. A small but the very best part of me. Tiny moments left in other people’s memories.

I’ve not always been perfect in my profession, but over four decades I’ve consistently never phoned it in, never left anyone hanging, never dumped my work on anyone else, never missed a promised commitment or deadline and never given anything but my best shot. And at times, I’ve been brilliant.

But, looking back, especially from the solitude of Casa Claire, my greatest blessing has been all of the people (and creatures) who have passed through my life and contributed, some more others, some intentionally and others by accident, but all in some way, to my view of the world. All of you shared your gifts during common moments with me. Helped me develop perspective. Made me love or hate, laugh or cry. Provided pain or pleasure. Heroes and villains to my vice versa. Taught me life lessons – some I appreciated in the moment, and others I appreciate with more clarity in hindsight as I enter the winter of my discontent. Wisdom over intelligence. All have added to the story of me. Thank you all for playing a part. As You Like It.

And as you have all learned by now, I have drawn upon your bountiful gifts to share what I can share in stories. And that has been your greatest gift to me.

So, thank you. Each and every one of you.

Well, it’s another Sunday for you fine, five readers. Give Rome what is Rome’s. Then enjoy the rest of the day.

I’m going to cuddle some kitties, make my rounds and then do some chores. And be thankful for what Claire and Honey and Lucky can teach me today.

Oh yeah, I’m sure I’ll learn a lesson or two from my lovely wife as well. They all fall onto my always expanding retrospect list. I never catch them on the first bounce. But I keep trying.

Sorry Honey, must do better 😉

But no matter what each of us experiences during the next 24 hours, let us all make today a great one.