True story. I used to walk my Black Pittie Blue every early morning in Riverdale around the Park I describe in great detail in Finding Jimmy Moran. There was a neighborhood character that wandered the Riverdale streets at night whose real name escapes me but who told me many times when we would bump into each other as I dog-circled the park, in all earnestness, that he was Etan Patz – the poor little boy kidnapped in SOHO back in 1979.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Etan_Patz
He wasn’t being callous, he really believed what he told me.
Unfortunately, this young man’s biographical credibility was questionable because his skin was the deepest ebony, his features were as African American as you could possibly imagine, and he wore his thick black hair in an expansive dreadlock style that would have made Sideshow Bob quite jealous. He was also always stoned and many times lit up a Rastafarian blunt as we walked the quite, darkened street together. He was also much younger than Etan would have been this century.
He once showed me an official looking ID he carried with him that Identified him as “Robert” and reflected that he lived in some group home. I never embraced the reality of his life and I never addressed him by anything other than Etan.
I always tossed him whatever cash I had in my pocket, and I always made sure I had cash when I walked Blue. My contribution to his ganja fund.
But this young man was always a laugh and a pleasure to talk with as we slowly strolled aruond the park and back as far as my house on Mosholu. We often engaged in deep philosophical discussions about the meaning of life as we circled the early morning park and if they were deep enough, we sat on the front steps until we had worked out way through those lessons. He had a great take on the world. An eternal optimist. Nothing really worried him.
His recurring dismebarking mantra, said with always a hint of an affected Island flavor, was,
“Everything will be all right!”
I’ve taken a number of Philosophy courses during my higher education, and nothing I learned in those classrooms rang any truer than what I heard from this street philopsopher’s lips.
The one morning that sticks out to me was an encounter I had with my friend not too long from when I finally pulled up stakes and headed West. I was crossing 254th Street and Mosholu Avenue, heading South towards the park. Suddenly I heard my name being called from the western direction of Riverdale Avenue. It was my guy. An empty Bronx street has its own echo.
Etan was stumbling in my direction, laughing hysterically, and obviously quite stoned.
When he finally arrived at my corner, he stopped, stared at me through his very read and glassy eyes and said, “Dude, you have a head like Charlie Brown!”
Now, it’s true that I have a large bald head. And yes, my ears to stick out just a tad so that from a distance it could look like a circle with handles.
Maybe he had a point.
One more reason I now sport a beard.
Anyway, I always think of my philosopher-friend Etan/Robert everytime I see a Charlie Brown reference.
And it makes me think that we should all engage in philosophical discussions at every opportunity, because you never know what wisdom you will encounter unless you remain open to that feral intercourse concerning new ideas. Knowledge comes from the most unusual places.
Well, last night Lisa mentioned that she saw that “It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” was available to watch on one of the cable stations. I again thought of Etan.
Now, as a child, my holidays were marked not by calendars, but by the evening appearance of Charlie Brown cartoons on Network (only three avaliable) television. The two most important to me were the Halloween cartoon I just mentioned, and Charlie Brown’s Christmas Special, in that order.
In both those cartoons, the younger character Linus Van Pelt, Lucy’s little brother, demonstrated his value to humanity through his innocent, though deeply profound, phlosophical takes on the world.
But his Halloween perfromance always stood out to me because (1) it is my favorite holiday; (2) he managed to talk a pretty young girl to embark with him alone on an overnight adventure;
and (3) he had the courage to embrace the mystical in nature.
Two great Linus lines that have stuck with me for almost 60 years are surpisingly related on how man must engage the opposite sex in order to be successful:
Linus: “You’ve heard of the fury of a woman scorned, havewn’t you?”
Charle Brown: “Yeah, I guess I have.”
Linus: “Well, thats nothing compared to to woman who has been cheated out of tricks-or-treats.”
AND
Linus: “You don’t believe the story of the Great Pumpkin? I thought little girls always believed everything that was told to them. I thought little girls were innocent and trusting.”
Sally: “Welcome to the 20th Century!”
- * * * * *
I’ve always remembered those jewels as I grew older and ultimately embedded them in my own philosopy of life which, oddly enough, remained unwaverably focused on my female counterparts.
- Never try to cheat a woman out of anything or you will pay dearly.
AND
2. Woman have unerring bullshit detectors, so don’t even try.
- * * * * *
However, there was a learning curve between being exposed Linus’s brilliant philosophical theory and my ability to master its practice. I didn’t get it down pat until I married my wife.
I respected Linus’s sincerity in his belief systems. I’d like to think I share that trait.
His Great Pumpkin is my Fae.
I’d also like to believe that the grounds of Casa Claire is as sincere as any pumpkin patch Linus shared with a woman.
So, the lesson I’m trying to provide this morning is that we should all remain open to new ideas no matter what their source.
Find our inner Linus.
Speaking of Halloween lessons, and women, I seem to be mired in Second Place among the females in the Wild Card series in the Faces Of Halloween Competition.
facesofhalloween.org/2025/tom-mccaffrey
I know everyone who cares has provided their FREE VOTE, and some have even contributed to the Starlight Children’s Foundation to buy a few extra, and for all of this support, on all levels, I am forever in your individual and collective debts.
On this final day of voting, I will channel my Linus and be confident in the sincerity of this journey, never waivering in my belief that, win or lose, good things will always come if I’m sincere enough.
Shit, I said “if” – a Linus slip up – I meant “when!”
And you, my fine five readers, enjoy your day of rest. Get outside and enjoy this wonderful Fall weather.
I’ve got some chores to take care of.
But no matter what else we get up to, let us make today a great one.
