Yesterday Lisa and I had to get the grans up and out of the house early and stay out for a two hour block so that their Dad could handle a really important work related situation. Their mother is back in Oz taking care of family stuff before returning here early next week.
That meant that my normal early morning blogging had to give way to my later morning duties so that I could be free for my family grand duties by 7 a.m.
But I did manage to snap the above awesome photo of the quarter moon setting over the foothills when I was out dealing with my Claire and Honey related mandatory obligations.
Now getting the Oz-based McCaffrey children to move in one direction is a lot like herding cats. You must be quick and relentless and annoying as fuck, in order to get them to understand that “this is not a drill.”
Once I got them bound (and gagged) into their car seats, Lisa and I took them to breakfast at a lovely breakfast place called The Village Inn, up North in Loveland, where we ushered them from the car into the farthest back corner booth and let them color away on provided placemats with provided crayons. Lisa led the way into the restaurant and I followed behind to ensure no one made a break for freedom.
The waitress was a sweetie, the service exemplary, the food delicious and portions plentiful.
The children were managed throughout the meal with my whispered threats of impending medieval torture – thumb screws, the rack, flogging – and Lisa’s countering of “Ignore Dude, he’s crazy.”
After killing the first of the required two hours out of the house with this sumptuous breakfast, we took the grans into Berthoud where they then went wild scaling, swinging between and sliding down from interesting metal monstrosities, leaping from large boulder to large boulder and frightening any human children that happen to cross their path. I kept my baseball hat pulled down over my face and my sunglasses on so I would not be later identified by any of the other parents who were captivated observing the preternatural children doing preternatural physical feats.
When we had met the minimum two hour mark, I tricked the three of them onto a rotating disc with the promise that I would spin it so fast that it would either fling their bodies miles in all separate directions or break free of its bindings and carry them off spinning into space. Nothing gets their juices flowing like a threat of impending doom.
What I did do was get them dizzy enough that I could then wrangle them back into the car and bind them before they realized what was happening. By the time their heads stopped spinning, we were well on our way back to Casa Claire.
We quickly handed off our charges to their father with the obligatory and legally binding “no backs” and I retreated to my office in the dungeon while Lisa made an attempt at doing their never ending laundry while Luke took them back out on an adventure to hopefully terrorize some cryptozoological creature that may be inhabiting the local mountains.
I heard their return a few hours later and when I came upstairs at the end of the workday to check on them, they had converted every inch of living room floor space into a MASH type mobile medical unit to care for their stuffed toys.
Even poor Blue and her bed were driven out of their normal position below the TV and out into the hallway.
Seeing that any attempt at reclaiming this floor would be useless, I retreated back down stairs for the rest of the evening, to my smaller dungeon living room, where I watched the news. I was only contacted once – by a angelic chorus from the top of the stairs – with the request to purchase The Wizard Of Oz on Amazon Prime. Anything to keep them happy and distracted.
I’m sure they took notes whenever the flying monkeys appeared on screen.
Well, once they fell silent I made my way up the internal fire escape to the Tower, where me and Blue joined the already sleeping Lisa in bed.
The good news is that Monday passed at a blur and Tuesday is upon us.
You fine, five readers toss back the last of your caffeine fix and head out there to conquer the world. Tuesdays are perfect for major moves.
I’m going to go cuddle some kitties and make my rounds, and avoid any more grandfatherly obligations with the excuse that I still work for a living.
But I will be open to lifeguard duties at the Skyclad Hot tub should my services be required.
Until then, let us all go out of our way to make today a great one.
