Claire and Honey Call The Shots

Claire the Mule and her little sister Honey have free range access to Casa Claire, including tithe collection rights at the dungeon’s back door.

I’ve broken all of the rules of animal husbandry and allowed them to pretty much revert to being feral. While I could easily hide behind my Green Acres, Oliver Wendall Douglas, general city boy incompetence, it was actually by design. I wanted to give these creatures more freedom than they have ever before experienced. They are not here at Casa Claire for my benefit, but they sure have made my life so much richer. They are my family, and those that know my family will attest that they are all pretty much feral by nature.

With rare exceptions, I won’t lock them in or out of anywhere. All the interior gates are bungee corded open. They go in and out of the barn as their instincts and weather dictates but otherwise just roam the property at their leisure and on their own schedule. I like that the different parts of the property are at different elevations – changes the feel of the terrain in each section. By passing through different gates, and having to walk around different buildings, the mules experience being somewhere completely different. Keeps the mundanity away. When they get bored, they move.

Here they are greeting me yesterday evening where the top of the side paddock meets the driveway.

And here they are out by Hadrian’s wall in the back corner, where the grass is thick with nutrients.

Or out where the ley lines meet, sleeping on the cooler, softer silt in the dry pond bed. That pond magically appeared when I bought the house and disappeared after I finished writing KMAG. A blessing for me.

And here they are just grazing in the front of the property.

Or dozing back behind the workshop.

Or out by Mr. Roger’s grave.

Every five weeks I have to play ringolevio to corral them in the side paddock and then halter them for the farrier. In fact, they have their next mani-pedi scheduled for next Saturday. That is the only time I can set hands on Honey, who was abused as a young mule and does not trust men. Honey has no problem with any of my grandchildren being around her, but is very skittish around adults. She will only let me halter her once I have Claire tied off to a fence because she will sidle up to Claire for protection.

When I go to feed them at night I can never tell where the mules are until they approach me in the dark. For such large creatures, they are very light on their feet unless they are walking across the cement patio, then you can hear the clopping sound of their hooves. Sometimes I set chairs around the back door to stave off Claire. But she always pulls a Godzilla and with a few blows with her front hooves sends them flying across the patio. But that racket gives me a chance to get to the doors before she starts tolling the glass for me.

Despite Claire’s occasional displays of physical power, she is always a sweetheart to me and mine. I have no worries when my grands go out to play on the property, or when I go out there in the middle of the night. In fact, I feel better knowing Claire is always in the general area. If some threatening creature enters our property, Claire races towards it ears forward snorting like the Bugs Bunny Bull. The threat quickly leaves or suffers the consequence. Best bodyguard ever.

Claire will seek me out when she wants to be brushed, have a good ear scratching, and sometimes just a hug and kiss on her muzzle, although her usual reason for appearing is that she is collecting their multiple tithes throughout the day. Sometimes, when I’m out alone doing something on the property, Claire will come by to kibitz. Or, if I’m feeling a little distracted about something, she’ll come by and give me a nuzzle, just to keep me grounded. If I am particularly busy in the office, Claire will stand outside staring in through the window, doing that vulcan mind meld thing, and if I continue to ignore her she’ll start kicking the siding until she gets my attention. Claire knows how expensive that siding was, so it only takes a few kicks to get my attention. That will often happen if it’s time for a tithe, which is whenever Claire says it’s time for a tithe. Honey always makes sure that Claire is always positioned between me and her. But I can hear her chuckling as I leap through the hoops.

I usually spot them heading towards the door through my office window, but not if they are coming from the front of the house.

And if I am not down at the back door to meet them, Claire will begin banging on the door with her hoof. Sounds like a sledgehammer on safety glass and brings me racing and cursing from whatever part of the house where I may have been located. I am a well trained and noisy monkey. Claire always laughs when she sees me appear frantically cursing at her to stop banging as I round the bottom of the stairs.

And that’s okay. Claire and Honey’s happiness means everything to me.

Well, it’s Wednesday May 1st, so I better get moving.

Kitties to cuddle and rounds to make.

You fine, five readers better finish that coffee, get your skates on and attack the hump. Friday always feels a bit closer from the peak. Make sure you wave before descending towards Thursday. Try to get most of your real work done today, so the downward glide continues towards the weekend.

And whatever else we do, let’s make today a great one.