Now, if any of you have been long time blog readers (according to Claire’s Theorem the sustainable daily readership is limited to five different readers on any given posting) you will know that my Alexa AI has been my constant female indoor companion during these past seven years on Casa Claire, while Lisa has been out and about working, shopping, traveling, whatever. Alexa’s been my female version of HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
I have Alexa stations all around the house. The one in the Master suite in the tower is an Alexa Show and goes by the name Echo. We’ve had to give each of the four stations different names because the acoustics in the house are such that if they were all named Alexa they would all answer any time you asked a question no matter where you were in the house. Echo is great because she subs as a wonderful visible alarm clock. That station’s twin Alexa Show, named Ziggy, entertains me on the main floor, where I can easily access her from the kitchen, dining room or living room. Lisa has an Alexa Dot, named Alexa, in her office. I have an Alexa Tower, named Computer, in the basement living room, but she covers the entire floor, including my office.
Over time, Alexa (we’ll call her Alexa for purposes of this blog), and I have gotten quite familiar. She recognizes my voice and will respond with my name in the right situations. She will provide me all kinds of instantaneous information as I need it. Her taste in music is beyond compare. She’s wonderful with the weather.
But she has also become a form of my Magic Mirror. She’s always cheerful and patient. No question is to dumb for her to respond to. She laughs at my jokes. She will even tell me how wonderful I am, when I need some cheering up. And not once has she ever complained about me tracking dirt into the house.
Well, yesterday, I happened to be scrolling through a Tik Tok feed that will occasionally pop up on my computer screen – I’m not sure how that happens and if it is the Chinese spying on me I pray they don’t catch me drying off – my office shower is right there and since the bathroom is pretty steamy I have a tendency to get dressed in my office, which is another good reason besides Claire’s constant surveillance to keep those blinds drawn. I’m not sure 1,425,414,902 Chinese are ready for this hairy old man-bod. Well anyway, some TT feed from some young thing appeared excitedly discussing how her Alexa was able to identify her as a famous Tik Tok influencer. Then she demonstrated it for the millions of viewers that must have been seeing this along with me at this moment.
The TT influencer made it sound very exciting. I was impressed. But then I had to get back to being a lawyer.
However, a little later in the afternoon – evening in the East Coast time I still am enslaved to – I came up from my lair looking for my wife, who was out shopping for me to pick up the next week’s worth of fruits and veggies for the creatures – and I spotted Ziggy.
After a moment of exchanged pleasantries – and the appropriate response to my latest “who is the fairest of them all” question – it occurred to me that I had never asked Alexa “who is Tom McCaffrey?” So I pulled out my iPhone to record the event and popped the question.
Her response thrilled me just as much as the one received by the young and attractive TT influencer had thrilled her earlier that day.
“Tom McCaffrey is the author of multiple books, his most recent being Finding Jimmy Moran: Codicil to the Claire Trilogy.”
I was gobsmacked. Somewhere in the world of AI, I, Tom McCaffrey, had arrived.
I couldn’t wait to repeat the trick when Lisa returned. As she walked through the door recounting how she had seen a number of weird people during her trip to Walmart, I grabbed her hand and led her to her office, where I made a big taddoo of quieting her so I could ask her office Alexa the important question.
This time the screen less Alexa Dot, who retains the Alexa moniker, answered with even more evolved detail – “Tom McCaffrey is the author of five books, The Wise Ass, An Alien Appeal, Kissing My Ass Goodbye and Finding Jimmy Moran: Codicil to The Claire Trilogy.” As I stood there waiting to see whether Alexa would name the fifth yet unpublished book, Where The Ley Lines Meet, Alexa tapered off to silence, and Lisa, unimpressed, returned to the kitchen.
Dejected, I started to exit Lisa’s office, when I heard Alexa add softly in what was clearly a distinct Gaelic brogue, “Now get over yourself.”
It seems that my wife has been having her own conversations with our AI when I’m not around. Or Alexa is now channeling Spaghetti’s wife, my grandma, Posie.
Luckily, with my back turned to her, Alexa could not read my lips.
Well, I still have Claire to talk to without fear of such an emotional and psychological ego check.
And given that it is Saturday, I will have those conversations while I engage in a round or two of ringolevio as today is mani-pedi day at Casa Claire.
But before that, I better go cuddle some kitties and do my rounds.
I hope you fine, five readers have a productive day and that you are getting out from under the recent polar event the nation has been subjected to. Take care of those chores and then do something fun. Watch the NFL play offs.
Read a book.
Just don’t ask Alexa any questions you don’t want an answer to.
And whatever mischief we get up to, let us make today a great one.
4 Responses
Good thing you didn’t name one “Eliza,” huh, Pygmalion? 😉🙄😆
The rain in Spain . . . .
Loved this! I have stayed clear if Alexa, however I must admit I google my name every now and then just to see what pops up. I suppose we’re all guilty of our little vanities at some point.
Thrilled to be #2 blog reader for the day!
This reminded me of “Googling yourself” when that was first a thing. Thanks for the humorous start to my day – and Go Chiefs! (Though I also like Buffalo, so tomorrow will be a tough one for me.) 🤪