Getting Past The Gates

No matter what path you take in life, there will be gatekeepers along the way that will do their very best to ensure you really want something before you get it.

As a lawyer, one has to first get through the gates of childhood without destroying all of your brain cells, developing a serious criminal record, doing well academically at least as an undergrad, then take the LSAT, then get into Law School, then get through Law School, then take the Bar Exam and then get past the background vetting of your geographical Law Department. Then get sworn in. Then you have to find a job. Then – if you are a litigator – you have to spend your life winning legal cases if you want to keep your job. You also have to take continuing legal-ed classes and pay money every two years to keep that law license. A total pain in the ass. All gates that need to be navigated. Most costs lots of money.

As a writer, you have to learn the alphabet, then how to read words, then how to write words, maybe a bit of grammar and spelling, then experience and survive life and develop an imagination, use that imagination productively to get past the gatekeepers on your other paths in order to find a mate and make a living, then come up with a unique idea, then share it with your drunkest friends to see if they find it worth listening to while being plied with alcohol, then find the time to sit down, develop and type the idea into your computer in the middle of the night, then share that typed version with your less drunk friends and/or family who can and are willing to read what you wrote to see if they give two shits about your story, then search the universe for a publisher who is willing to take a chance on an older dude’s book, then get through finalizing the book – edits, format, cover art – then wait for publishing day and then pray someone will buy a copy, then pray someone will give you a nice review, and if that works, repeat the later stages of the process before those few readers you have impressed forget who you are. You need to keep enchanting readers and impress your publisher if you want to keep your job. A far more rewarding pain in the ass. Lots of gates to slip through. Luckily, some of the navigated gates that got me past the legal bar served as a twofer to my writing career.

Books played an important role on all of my paths.

Now during both the legal and writing paths, I only spent money on books when I was compelled to do so by whatever school I was attending at the time. Given my natural incorrigibility, there turned out to be more schools than expected, and they all required me to buy mostly useless books, written by tenured professors or dead authors who no longer saw any of the money being generated by those sales.

But there was a gate that provided access to books and allowed me to tread down both paths. It cost me nothing. The Library.

I did most of my give-a-shit reading during my formative years for free. Luckily for me, The New York Public Library – Riverdale Branch – was literally right across the street from my family home on Mosholu Avenue. It was built just about the time I figured out how to read. I did most of that free reading sitting in the Library building during inclement weather, I never took the books out. First off, you never wanted to be spotted by your friends carrying a book outside of school. Reputations were always rising and falling. No, I was a foul weather reader, because if the weather was nice I spent most of my time in the woods behind that library – which now hosts the Russian Mission – doing all the bad but fun things that killed a lot of brain cells but were far more interesting to me growing up. The woods were also a great place to make out.

When I was forced inside, I would walk along the Adult section and find a book whose title or cover art intrigued me and then find a seat among the lonely old pensioners who were the regulars every day and would at first give me the stink eye but then learned to put up with me when I didn’t act as I normally would have just for shits and giggles. I would read as long as a book seemed to interest me, or the sun came out, or until I had to go home. If I really liked a book I would find it again the next time I was there and read some more. If I didn’t find that book again, I would often wonder how the story had ended and allow my imagination to fill in what I thought should or would have happened. To this day, I cannot tell you how many of the conclusions to the literary classics ended up being co written in my head. Doesn’t matter, a story is a story.

When my books started being published, I started placing inscribed versions in street libraries, just to see how they would look on the shelves along with other writers’ books. Oddly enough, many complete sets ended up disappearing either at the hands of censors or ebay aficionados, or maybe bibliophiles looking to get in on the ground floor.

I also donated copies of the books to the Berthoud Public Library because I know how much free books made my life a little better. And I don’t want any of the locals to miss out on the fun because books, like everything else these days, are too expensive.

I’ve had friends donate sets of my books to their respective local public library.

For example, BC, the notorious Voldemortian character from KMAG and a smart, funny as fuck and incredibly loyal member of the OFC from my real childhood – who also appears as another Brian character who loved strip clubs in FJM – donated a set of books to the Rochester public library in upstate New York, and sent me the above proof of life photo. I managed to defy my natural Luddite level technical skills and found TWA on the Rochester PL catalogue system. Turns out, there are two copies of it floating around and that the book has an almost complete 5 star rating.

Thank you Rochester and BC.

Lenny, a central character from all of the books, donated a set to his local Bronx Public Library and Renee Clarke, who appears as that feisty female military science officer in WTLLM, donated a set to the Bismark branch of the North Dakota Public Library system. Thank you guys.

It turns out, in retrospect, that Public Libraries are gatekeepers on the paths of many of our lives. I probably wouldn’t have made it as either a writer or a lawyer if I didn’t develop my love of reading at the Public Library. Thank you Andrew Carnegie for leading the push to establish public libraries.

So, I hope my books land in other public libraries and maybe some other urchin will develop bad spelling and grammar skills but a wonderful imagination that leads them to somewhere worthwhile.

If any of my fine, five readers stop in at their local public libraries, ask them if they carry all or any of the The Claire Saga books, and if they don’t ask them if they will order a set. There are a lot of future trouble makers who may find their salvation in a good read. And if they’re really lucky, they may stumble upon TCS instead.

Well, it’s Thursday, and I have a legal pleading to finish before Friday -and the grans – distract me again for another weekend.

But first some kitties to cuddle and rounds to make.

You fine, five readers go wrap up your work week. Then plan to set aside some time to get through all your weekend chores, watch some playoff games and maybe read a book.

But whatever else we have in store for us today, let us make it a great one.