Received an email overnight from an Italian woman named Carolyn Rapoza who apparently guides Italian book clubs towards suggested reads. It appears that Carolyn came across the Italian translation of The Wise Ass – L’asino sapiente –
and provided me with an extensive summary and analysis of the story along with an unsolicited offer to provide me with three ways I could improve it.
This is a first for me. I have never had anyone write to me about a foreign language translation of any of my books.
I am thrilled. It’s like being on an uncharted island in the Pacific, throwing a bottle with a message into the ocean and four years later learning that someone has found the bottle, read the message and felt compelled to respond.
It’s the same feeling I get when a new member rotates into my fine, five daily readers of my blog.
Message In A Bottle – The Wise Novelist
which everyone knows, pursuant to the laws of Casa Claire quantum physics, can only be five –
Claire’s Theorem – The Wise Novelist.
This also confirms another one of my theories, that 95 percent of my readership are women.
And that is just fine, as I have a lifelong appreciation of the superior female intellect and form and during my youth, sampled regularly from the Italiano femmina tavolozza. Grazie!
I also learned that you cross an Italian woman at your peril, so I immediately responded with my own thoughtful email, tucked the message into a virtual glass bottle and tossed it into the InterWeb ocean – Arrivederci:
“Carolyn: Thank you for your detailed analysis of The Wise Ass. I assume you have read the Italian translation, which I am unable to vouch for because I don’t speak that beautiful language. I do appreciate your offer of providing me with your three suggestions on how you believe you can improve the novel, but I’m afraid that ship has sailed. It is what it is. Perfect gets in the way of good. Despite its flaws, TWA remains a bestseller. However, should you still find it in your heart to recommend TWA and the remaining four novels in The Claire Saga (you should read all five to fully understand and appreciate the story) –
An Alien Appeal
Kissing My Ass Goodbye
Finding Jimmy Moran
Where The Ley Lines Meet
to any of your Italian book clubs, I would be open to doing a zoom appearance with any group that makes the time or effort to read my book(s). Of course, I may need a translator.
Thank you again for investing the time in analyzing my creative work. I hope you read all five novels of The Claire Saga and also my two new novels – Free R.A.D.I.C.A.L. and Spark of Faith – which drop in January and May 2027, respectively. Feel free to reach out to me if you ever want to discuss any of my writing further. I’m an open book.
Thanks again for your wonderful email.
Best, Tom”
Vendi sempre! (ALWAYS BE SELLING).
Now of course this email, like many of the unsolicited ones I received in the past could be a scam. But you never know. Think positive until they ask for your social security number.
Well, my fine, five readers, we’ve all made it to another Thursday. This is the day the productive employee (or boss) wraps up their weeks-worth of superior effort with sparkly paper and a nice bow to deliver to the client or powers that be tomorrow morning. You must always wait until the morning, or sure as hell, those powers will evaluate the work overnight and completely ruin your Friday (and possibly your weekend).
So, finish that last cuppa, roll up those sleeves, and go slay the dragon.
And, no matter what else we get up to, facciamo in modo che oggi sia fantastico!
